Prompt-thingy from musing_way

[old_csat]

"I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting." -- Robert A. Heinlein

Oh, now. Now that's not fair. Thinking about that kind of thing gives me a pain in the chest. And it's a brand new chest, which shouldn't be getting pains.

But ... well. It's true enough, as I've seen it. Wise man, this Mr Heinlein. Wise man.

You know, Isander? My beloved? When he was made, back before it all, they never gave him the ability to laugh. Not what he was for, they said. Guarding madmen gave you no cause to laugh, they said. Damn them all, anyway, kratchjec vudja that they were. Maybe they weren't the same idiots that decided I need to be locked away, terrified, for being humanity's first telepath, but they were as cruel. More so.

See, robots, machines, they don't believe in things. Not the big lies. They tend to see things more or less as they are. Every terrible bloody inch. If ever there was a damn creature who needed to be able to laugh, it was them. It was him. My Isander. Everything I went through, everything he helped me survive, and there wasn't ever anything I could do to help him. Because I couldn't help him laugh. He wasn't able.

But hey. Hey. It wasn't all bad. Couple of years in, he discovered sarcasm. Helped a bundle. Not quite the same thing, not quite the same release, the bubble rising in your chest that lets out all the hurt, but ... well, it was something. It was really something. And not just for him. Heh. Honest. I don't think I'd lived at all until I saw him tear that corporate csat to pieces in that lilting monotone of his. Hell of a sight. Hell of a thing. Got me my freedom, too, so I treasure the memory all the more.

So. Mr Heinlein is right on the button, really. Got me through a lot, humour. Lack of manners helped, and the fact that I'm as stubborn as a Tssesserasi lawyer on payday. Had to laugh for both of us, for a long time, but that's alright. I got a laugh would do a donkey proud, and it carries, so I've always been more than capable.

Ah damn. Wish I could've heard him laugh back then. Back when he needed it. Now ... well, we don't hurt all that much any more. Found our place, found ourselves in each other's heads. Not much hurt left, and he only laughs in joy now that he can.

Wish he could have laughed then.

Wordcount:  413